Change

When I started this blog I wanted to post how I was going to change.

Well I do want to change...very badly...

So I got out my books, made my lists, had the great ideas....and then nothing.

Nothing!

What gives?  What happened?  Why didn't I change...I mean come on, I prayed...I read, I wrote my lists..I did everything right...

OH YEAH!

I forgot to do anything.
I didn't use the lists..
Or applied what I read in the books..
Or followed the Holy Spirit's prompting...

I think I was waiting for that magic pill to activate.
You know the one, where you swallow the pill and the pounds go away, and you become organized and wake up in the morning and start your day off right.
You have got to know the pill.  Well I was waiting for it...and it never came.

So I realized something.  I need to....



Remember this?  It's what Mike wanted us to do...and this is what I need to do.

Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  I mean I was waking up the same time, not using my Notebook, keeping the same schedule and spending all the money while eating hamburgers each day...and expecting to be caught up, have more money and losing weight.

I need to JUST DO IT!!!  I mean I have researched and read and prayed and haven't done anything with it.  It is like finding a cure and going to bed and getting up the next morning and still researching a cure.

I need to use the recipies
I need to count the calaries
I need to set the alarm
I need to record my money

Put some verbs to my sentences, use the determination and strength of mind that the Lord is giving me and ACT!

Help me to act dear Lord...Help me to do the action you have set me to do...Help me...I want to act dear Lord, I want to be better, to use the ideas you have inspired to learn.  You are my strength, the One I can lean on and gain inspiration from.  I love you Lord and want to honor you...and I know that I can with Your strength and love.

Insecurity

Insecurity: adj. Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe.

Insecurity. Just the sound of it makes me want to gag on a spoon! Haha! Remember back in high school when we said that?! Well that is how long I have been fighting it.

I mean, 'come on. Shouldn't I be better than this by now? Shouldn't I know that I have nothing to be insecure about? I have done all the self talk, read all the books, talked with everyone. Yet, ugly stupid thoughts would rear their ugly head! You know the ones:

"you know you weren't invited because they don't like you,"

" your kids disobeyed you because you haven't taught them good enough and they are going to grow up and be hellions"

Oh and my favorite, "you are so fat, your husband thinks you are ugly"

These are the thoughts that still come up, still haunt me at the ripe old age of 37.

Those thoughts are stupid angry thoughts...but what gets me into trouble is when I get dragged down and start BELIEVING the thoughts. That's when Satan has me at his best, that is when he convinces me that the dirty, ugly thoughts become my reality and my identity is wrapped into my insecurity.

And you know what? I hate it!!!! HATE IT!!!!

I mean you want to know what insecurity means?!

Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe

Seriously! Am I Inadequately guarded? Um, no! Am I Inadequately protected? Um, no! Why you ask? Because of this promise:

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. (Psalms 119:114 NIV84)

And this promise:

You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. (Psalms 18:35 NIV84)

So according to the dictionary insecurity can only exist if I am Inadequately guarded...and since I am guarded, and protected and safe...THERE IS NO REASON FOR THE INSECURITY!

Now here is the stinky part:
The stupid, angry thoughts are going to come back. BUT (and this is a big but),

I can Overcome, not by me, but by the Holy Spirit in me.

And the stupid, angry thoughts can go away, because I am protected and safe and that is all I need!

Maximize Your Mornings: Hello Mornings

I am not a morning person!  Not. At. All.  I love to sleep, and for some reason the bed is the most comfortable right before you have to leave it!  The only thing is that I know how important it is to get up before my family.

My kids get out the door on time and without craziness...
I get to eat breakfast, have my devotional and get to have a little quiet to myself...
I get to plan my day and be the wife and mother I always want to be....

It is so important to get up early, so important to start my day off right...so important, but I never do it...I always give in to the warm bed, instead of doing the right thing...

So I joined this challenge, I will be joining other women who are committing to getting up and starting their day off right...all over the world, click here and join us...join us to commit to get up and start our days off right!

It's Not About Me

Wow!  You never know how much you get out of Worship and Praising God in church, until you can't.  I had to work yesterday, so I couldn't go to church and I didn't even realize I had lost my focus until I listened to a song posted by a blog I follow.

I started to listen and to praise God and all of a sudden, the Holy Spirit brought something to my mind by one line in the song.....

I live my life to shine Your Light
There is none besides you God

I was hit between the eyes with that one!

It is not about my hurt feelings, insecurities, finding a perfect house, having a successful program...
IT IS NOT ABOUT ME!

Satan tries so hard to take my focus off of the big picture (serving God) and focusing on things that rob me from joy (fears, insecurity, anger..).  The joy of serving my God, of living for Him, of putting Him first in my life.  Those things bring me true joy and every time my focus strays, I become discontent and full of anxiety and think lies of myself...

The thing is, why do I keep doing this?  Why can't I stay in the focus of the big picture?  Stay in the grace and love of my heavenly Father?  Why do I get swept up in the lies to the point that I can't see the forest from the trees? 

I am not sure why I do, but I am so glad that there is grace...grace from my family members, grace from my friends...

And the perfect grace from my precious Heavenly Father...my Loving Abba...the One who brings the songs and moments in life to bring me back to His wonderful peace and wonderful love.

Here is the song that touched my life...

Mama said there'd be days like this.....

Wow!  Okay, I have been wanting to write for awhile..but yeah...life happened!  School started, new schedules...and before I know it, it is the beginning of October!  We have been busy!  We went and took a trip of a lifetime and went to Disney World...

It was a wonderful time with my in-laws and my precious children!  Then three days later tragedy hit our house, David's wonderful grandpa, the kids g-pa passed from this life into the arms of Jesus.  He had been hospitalized  but it was so fast and we were not prepared. He was such a Godly man...we miss him so much already.

I have had so many wonderful plans on how I was going to have my days and my nights, but yea...all good plans right.  Because I stayed up way to late, my kids got up late, which meant they didn't eat right, which meant I was in a bad mood and felt like I was running around all day, which meant I wasn't prepared, and felt overwhelmed and disoriented.  We got to dance late and because I didn't make Kaitlyn take a potty break, she had an accident in class.  Then because I didn't plan dinner, we ate fast food...AGAIN!  So I have sought council...in God's Holy Word and in outside sources, from people are inspired by the Holy Spirit to share Godly wisdom.  Her name is Susan Heid and she writes a blog called Confident Mom.  You can find her link to the side bar of my blog, but she is writing this month about something God has been speaking volumes to me:  Time Management.  I have loved it. But I am scared, I have promised myself so much and have promised God so many times, what if I fail, what if I don't follow through...again.  But here is the thing, now...now it is so much more than myself that I am not living up to, it is my precious blessings that God has bestowed upon me, has trusted with.  If I don't get myself up in the morning, don't try to be the best I can be, the best person God made me to be, then they are not getting the best mom they deserve.  And in reality, that is what I truly desire.  To give my children the best person I can be, not the person I think I should be, but the person God designed me to be.  Not so that I can perfect and have it all together, but so my children can live in a home full of peace, a safe haven to run to from the world.  So that my hard working husband can come home to organized and simplicity...and peace.  That is my desire.  Now...turn off the computer, go to bed and begin.

Allison

She sets about her work vigorously;    her arms are strong for her tasks. Proverbs 31:17

Under Construction

When I was a little girl I imagined myself and what I would look like when I was in my thirties...I would have a family, be a mom and stay at home with my babies and take care of them and my home.  Everything would be sunshine and rainbows and lollipops.  I would be a success in every sense of the word.  I would have perfect kids, perfect husband and have the perfect life.  Then...well then real world set in.  That's where I am now.  I have possibly the three greatest kids in the world and THE world's greatest husband, but I am far from perfect, and my life is FAR from perfect.  And guess what?...

I am right where Jesus wants me.

Let's say my life was full of sunshine and rainbows and lollipops...what did He come to Earth to save?  Why did He die if everything was perfect...perfection is so far from where we are supposed to be because that is where He can do is best work.  When I am flawed, that is where He comes and moves His Spirit in and mold us to what He has for us...the abundant life...the life He has planned for us...not the life we have planned for ourselves.