Insecurity

Insecurity: adj. Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe.

Insecurity. Just the sound of it makes me want to gag on a spoon! Haha! Remember back in high school when we said that?! Well that is how long I have been fighting it.

I mean, 'come on. Shouldn't I be better than this by now? Shouldn't I know that I have nothing to be insecure about? I have done all the self talk, read all the books, talked with everyone. Yet, ugly stupid thoughts would rear their ugly head! You know the ones:

"you know you weren't invited because they don't like you,"

" your kids disobeyed you because you haven't taught them good enough and they are going to grow up and be hellions"

Oh and my favorite, "you are so fat, your husband thinks you are ugly"

These are the thoughts that still come up, still haunt me at the ripe old age of 37.

Those thoughts are stupid angry thoughts...but what gets me into trouble is when I get dragged down and start BELIEVING the thoughts. That's when Satan has me at his best, that is when he convinces me that the dirty, ugly thoughts become my reality and my identity is wrapped into my insecurity.

And you know what? I hate it!!!! HATE IT!!!!

I mean you want to know what insecurity means?!

Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe

Seriously! Am I Inadequately guarded? Um, no! Am I Inadequately protected? Um, no! Why you ask? Because of this promise:

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. (Psalms 119:114 NIV84)

And this promise:

You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. (Psalms 18:35 NIV84)

So according to the dictionary insecurity can only exist if I am Inadequately guarded...and since I am guarded, and protected and safe...THERE IS NO REASON FOR THE INSECURITY!

Now here is the stinky part:
The stupid, angry thoughts are going to come back. BUT (and this is a big but),

I can Overcome, not by me, but by the Holy Spirit in me.

And the stupid, angry thoughts can go away, because I am protected and safe and that is all I need!